The foolish mans seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet. - James Oppenheim
We are not officially on the wait list but it is getting close, very close. When I saw this quote by Oppenheim, it struck a chord.
Adoption, I have discovered is about waiting. Different periods of waiting. Waiting for an appointment. Waiting for CIS. Waiting for the wait list. Waiting for the referral. Waiting for the court date. Waiting for travel. Waiting. I remember waiting when I was pregnant, but I had an end date. You have a boundaries that are concrete. The first trimester is a defined period. The second, too. And even the third. None of the waiting periods in adoption are set by a number of days. There is such a pull to think about the future. To plan for the future. To dream about the family we are to become. Is it at the expense of the family we are today? I have been working hard to not let tomorrow be the thief of today. It is so hard. I am making a concerted effort to enjoy the calm in the house. Being able to watch the soccer matches without interruption. The relative ease that 3 children are. The time I have with Jason. The routines that we have established. The discussions at the dinner table that are almost adult-like.
I know that life will be chaotic and exhausting for a while (maybe a long while) after we have our new child/ren. Yet, we wait with excitement.