Hair-A Public Service Message

Most of the adoptive parents that I know (of Ethiopian children) spend a ton of mental energy and even $ on their newly adopted child or children's hair.  When we first got home I went to a salon that specialized in braiding, cutting, and caring for black hair so that I could learn how to braid Bella's hair.  A beautiful black woman helped me.  She took one look at Bella's hair and said, "Oh honey, her hair is more like yours than mine."  Really?!  What does that mean?  "It means.  You don't braid her hair.  You can, but it won't stay in for more than a few days."  So, we do occasionally braid it.  We do put it up in pony or pig tails.  We keep it down and "free."  But on those days when it is free, we have to bring some semblance of order to it.  Easier said than done.  At first I spent a small fortune on different product hoping that they would be a quick fix.  I have found a couple products that I love.  But today, I found magic!  Really!  This mom has become somewhat of a rock star in my house.  She used the same SW for her home study but we never got to meet until after she adopted her baby.  Go check out her blog.  She was a superwoman before but now.....

She posted about hair products and Sally's Beauty Supply Shop.  I went out and purchased.  I LOVE Sally's.  How did I not know about this store!  Prices are great and the products I purchased work.  So my first purchase was the tangle teezer.  Why does it work???  But it does!  It costs $9.99.  So worth it.  It took me 10 minutes to comb/brush through her hair.  I had panned on doing it during the football game today.  It should have taken me until half-time.

I used it with Hawaian Silky to help detangle.  Wow!  Bella had a few dreadlocks starting (underneath neck area) and using this stopped them.  The combination of the teezer and this was seriously easy.  Her hair is really long, when wet it reaches mid back.

Then while I was there, I found another product that I have not used yet but will try.  Bella uses Wen as a cleansing conditioner.  It works very well.  Love it.  It is expensive, though.  Because her hair is so long we also go through it pretty quickly.  Well, Sally's sells the generic form.  It is about 1/3 of the price of Wen.  They also sell sample size packets for $1.49.

I have not used it but I will let you know if it works as well as Wen.  It may depend on your child's hair texture, but they are worth a try.  Not a big investment.  And if they work as well for you as they did for me....you will have so many more hours in the day to do laundry, dishes, or even read a book:)  Thank you Staci!

Heart Beat

One of the coolest things I heard in Anatomy and Physiology (have not taken the time to verify this on line) was that when a two hearts get in proximity they can match their beats. As a transplanted heart gets close to the heart that it is replacing they synchronize.  I may be saying this the wrong way from a medical perspective.  But I trust that I have no one reading this who is a doctor.  I have thought about this as a few times through our adoption of Bella.

The first time I thought of it was when Jason and I got our EKG for the medical part of our application.  Coincidentally, we have the same abnormality (minor though it is).  Apparently, it is not a commonly occurring abnormality and our doctor got a kick out of the fact that we both have it.  Hmmmm.  synchronicity.

The second time was yesterday.  To understand me completely, I have to go back to a year ago.  When Bella first came home she loved to be snuggled and read to, but there was always an under current of awareness.  When my older three kids were babies, I could hold them and they would relax completely into me until they fell asleep.   At church, they could be perfectly still and quiet if I was holding them.  Think falling asleep while being given a massage.  It's not because you are tired but because you are that relaxed. That is what I mean.  She could fall asleep if she was tired.  Like when I rocked her at night.  I actually did not think about it too much.  I put it down to her age, really.  But then yesterday, I was reading/answering emails (thank you Ellen) in the morning.  Bella woke up, came downstairs, and climbed onto my lap.  I held her, rocked her slightly in the office chair, and continued to read/answer emails.  She was perfectly still.  Before I knew it she had fallen asleep at 9:00 in the morning.  Not a tired sleep.  A relaxed sleep.  Hmmm. Synchronicity.  She woke up in a few minutes and said, "I love you, mommy."  Definitely synchronicity.

Out of the mouth of babes #1

In an effort to remember the cute or not-so cute things that kids can say, I am going to record them.

Bella and Eliza love getting Willow on the sofa.  Maybe because it drives me crazy.  Try wearing black pants when you have a Golden Retriever.  Now try sitting down on a sofa with said black pants.   Anyways.  When Willow, ten years old, was having trouble jumping up on the sofa, Bella told Eliza, "Willow is running out of batteries."

What will 2011 hold for us?

Christmas was wonderful.  Bella really enjoyed the preparation, the songs, the baby Jesus in the manger.  So much so, that she woke up on the 26th and said is today Christmas again?  This is actually her second Christmas but we realize now that she must have been in a fog for the first couple months she was home.

We have officially begun the paper chase for a 0-2 either gender.

Just for fun:

Bella and Willow 

see the picture frame...I painted chalkboard paint and then fixed a frame on her wall.  Voila!  She has a framed masterpiece,  She made the fishy in preschool:)

 Bella and Poppy

Lots going on with the older kids...so I will have to come back and do a whole post.  Wondering if gathering paperwork will make me a better blogger....

Thankful

(Do you notice that I don't post as many pictures of the older kids?  I do.  Notice, that is.  It's because they are so busy and so rarely in range of a camera.)

Our thanksgiving was peaceful and relaxing and wonderful.  I am so thankful for Jason, my husband, thanksgiving day chef, best friend, resident comedian, and partner.  Today it was only the three of us home.  The older kids went to football games with friend while we cooked and watched the Patriots.

Andrew is home from college.  He is doing well, academically and socially.  He loves it. He played soccer (reserve team) and did great.  He is toying with the idea of not playing next year but being a founding father of a fraternity... should I tell him that I am not ready yet for him to give soccer up?  Didn't he get the memo that "He is a soccer player"?  All kidding aside, he has transitioned from soccer player, jock, to what do I want to do with the rest of my life-effortlessly. Thankful for this boy!

Eliza loves school.  She did cross country and is gearing up for winter track.  She has made two new friends who are sweet and beautiful.  She went to a seminar last weekend taught at BU on neuroscience.  She came back talking about dopamine and brain stems... She is advocating within our walls for a little boy name F. Thankful for this girl!

Zach is Zach.  He made the Olympic development team for our region.  Key word is region.  It means we have to drive an hour and a half to his 5 hour practice (no, that's not a typo).  I do this because this is my kid who said he was going to play for the EPL when he was 5.  He loves the middle school and until recently after a ding dong ditch episode...traveled in a posse of 8-10.  Now, he is limited to smaller get together.  Group think at any age is dangerous. Thankful for this boy!

Bella is a joy.  She recently ran her first turkey trot (100m race)  Uh, oh!  No where to go but down.  She came in first. As Bella says, "I 'tended that Zachy was going to pinch my bumm."

She is fun and a riot and keeps me on my toes.  She goes to bed and we continue to chuckle with the latest Bella-stories.  "But I love you" is her get out of jail card for everything.  (ie:I will tell her no screaming and she pulls out her .."But I love you.")  Thankful for this girl!

So thankful for my friends and family.

Duck Duck Goose

This may be my one and only rant.  I don't do confrontation.  I sometimes write a post and then delete because I am nervous about what will people think, so here goes.

I have decided that I hate the game of Duck Duck Goose.  I guess I never really gave it too much thought until the other day.  Bella is in a 45 minute Ballet class.  Let me repeat...Ballet.  I watched it the other day from a little window.  It is really very cute how intense she is about it.  I am biased, but I think she is the most beautiful ballerina.  Having said that, she is in a class of little girls that have blond bobs.  Do we really have no brunettes or red heads in this town???  She has a good friend/best friend in the class too.  So back to Duck Duck Goose.  They played Duck Duck Goose for 16 minutes.  Really???!!!  Can I repeat it's a 45 minute ballet class?  My heart started to hurt when other little girls had been picked a second and a third time and Bella had not been picked once.  Really????!!!!  I don't blame the kids, I do blame the teacher.  The little girl with glasses, also was not picked.  These kiddos are too young for this and a good teacher should help the kids manage the landscape of fairness and inclusion.  I wanted to go in there and never have Bella return.  You don't get the joy of knowing this kid.  She is awesome.  She is fun.  She is smart.  She is kind. No I am not biased....but if you aren't going to be nice....you don't get to know her.  Thankfully, I grew up before she got out of class.  She loves this class.  Will I sign her up for this class next year?  No way!  But all week, I was formulating what I was going to say if I saw the same thing this week.  Someone must have said something because this week....no Duck Duck Goose.

One year home- "Mommies are better than chocolate"

I have been putting this post off.  What do I write.  Bella has been home a year and she is doing beautifully.  I have already told you that though.  So, do I simply recap the past year.  It is nothing like we expected or prepared for.  She learned English much quicker, she grew taller, she bonded sooner...I can only credit Gladney and her first family.

Having said all that, I have really not too much to add.  She started preschool.

She is going with an older group of kids but it does not phase her.  She loves the exploring and the art.  She made a mask that will be in a community arts walk.  She is doing ballet.  She is sooo serious about it.  

The other kids are doing great.  They could not imagine our life without Bella.  They can not get enough of her.  We saw Andrew last weekend and he "just want to make sure that you are bringing Bella."  That is how they all are.  Andrew is loving school.  He is playing soccer, making great friends, joining clubs (investment) and simply staying too busy.  Zach is playing soccer and loving middle school.  The "too cool for school" attitude is alive and well in that child:)  Eliza is running cross country and doing well in school.  She gets to ride on the weekends.  She keeps trying to plan a trip back to Ethiopia.  We separated the girls this past August.  Eliza needs her sleep and Bella is still coming into our bed. (Will that ever go away???)  The girls have had a few "sleepovers" where Bella gets to sleep in Eliza's room. Bella loves that and so do I, because those are the only nights that she does not end up in our bed.

Bella woke up one morning singing, "Mommies are better than chocolate."  I have to say, no matter how much I got kicked in the middle of the night...it makes it all okay:)