Week one complete. I am a person who likes to check things off the list. I have been thinking a lot about the process of waiting. I have friends who are in different stages of the waiting... waiting for court, waiting for referral, waiting for CIS approval, waiting for an appointment, waiting for travel. I remember when the kids were small that I was always looking forward to the next phase, walking or speaking or whatever the next developmental stage was. What is it about us that makes us resist the moment, or day that we have been given? Why can we sometimes be at peace with the moment and then at other times we are but a small sail boat in a vast ocean taken over by a hurricane. I can identify two days in particular that the winds of the hurricane knocked me off kilter. I was crazy. Both of those times were connected directly to my expectations. Jason has a saying, "expectations are the root of resentment." Both of those days, paperwork was late, with no explanation. I had paced myself to wait until those dates, and then when the date changed... I was unprepared. I am going to count these weeks that go by because I am a list person, but I am going to try and not expect the referral. The other part of the equation that his hit me squarely in the heart is that while we wait with joy and excitement, a world away there is a story playing out that is filled with sadness and tragedy. How do you honor that and wish away the time? How I have chosen to honor it, is to be more present to my children, to prepare them for their new sibling, to connect and learn from the people who are that many steps ahead of me or behind me in the adoption process and to pray for the birth family.
So all in all, a great week has gone by. Soccer is quieting down (although, Andrew has Nationals in Tampa next week). School is picking up.
