That's NOT Fair!

I have been in a Spring cleaning mode!  Getting rid, simplifying.  Yesterday Bella found an old picture frame filled with pictures of our family, that I had put in a box (okay, you are asking why...because I hate the pictures inside the frame...oops, pure vanity).  She was in none of them.  Did I mention Zach was probably 4y in them.  Our discussion went something like this:
Bella: "Where am I?"
Jason:  "Oh, Honey, you were not born yet."
Bella:  "But why am I not in the family picture? Everyone is there but me."
Me:  "You were not even born yet."
Bella:  "That's NOT fair."  And at this point the script would read...She stomps off, arms crossed, with the angriest face she can muster up...until gets into the other room, and the arms uncross, and a smile takes over the little scowl.  She grabs a baby doll and skips off.

You go girl!  I love this little pumpkin and all the "spunk and circumstance" that comes with her.

Chocolate Milk and Moving Forward

Spring has always been a busy time for me.  Tryouts for lacrosse.  Eliza just found out that she is captain of JV.  Zach found out he made the "A" team for lacrosse.  Soccer picks up, too.  Zach plays on 3 teams-town, club which Jason coaches, and ODP.  So I start to fret how and when and of course, why. So when I found this in a book that I am reading, it was a good reminder for me to not fall into the pattern of just getting it done.  Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanne Weaner, the book I am reading, quotes another author


Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to enclose a note inside...Obligation sends the children to bed on time, but love tucks the covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs (even to teenagers!)...Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it.  Obligation can pour a glass of milk, but quite often, love adds a little chocolate. Love adds a Little Chocolate by Linda Anderson

It was a good reminder to slow down and do the small things that make a big impact on the little souls around me.  Yes, the kids had chocolate milk all week long:) Bella's new thing is wanting to go to kindergarten.  She has a new friend who is in kindergarten.  She also wants to lose a tooth.  Sorry, babe, you just got your three year molars in.  But who knows, if you keep trying to shake those front teeth....

Sent in our application to CHI and have been approved.  Feels good to be moving forward again.  On a positive note, I love our case manager at CHI.  Not only is she an adoptive mom and "gets it," she responds so quickly to any and every question that I have had.  Scary that I actually asked a "how long" question the first day.  Will I never learn???  Actually the question had to do with how long it takes them to review our homestudy.  So we move forward.

Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

I have not known how to even say this. I kept hoping and praying that we would not have to do this. We are so sad about it. When I told a friend that I felt like I was breaking up with a boyfriend, she said..."yes, but they are dating over 300 other girls." Yes, we have decided not to use Gladney. And truth be told, we are heartbroken about it. They are an amazing agency. We know how well they care for the children. We know how ethical they are. We love Scott Brown and what a faith filled man he is. We also knew that there were children in our parameters waiting for a family. So we struggled and decided that we would not use Gladney for our second adoption. If I were 16, you would find me in my bedroom, surrounded by my 4 closest friends, a box of tissue, 5 spoons, and Haagan Daas ice cream. But I am not 16, am I?

What to say?

It seems that I still have a lot to learn about patience and perseverance.  This week has been bad news after bad news on the adoption front.  I prayerfully hang onto hope that we will be able to add to our family a brother or sister who will share a common heritage with Bella.

So I just deleted the rest of my post.  Maybe over a cup of coffee we can solve the problems of the world.  At this point I carefully edit my thoughts as not to get myself into trouble.