Thursday, October 16, 2008

Does patience = peace?

Small steps in the adoption front.  We had our conference call with Jessica at Gladney.  She seems lovely.  I am at peace with the wait (at the moment).  I came out of the talk though, thinking.  The closer we get the further it seems.  As we get closer the wait time seems so much longer and painful.  There is a Chinese proverb that says he who knows patience knows peace.  I am not sure if Rebecca, Lori S, and Chelsea would agree ( just to name a few.)  I am so praying for them.  They have been so patient.  Maybe when we surrender to God's time, we know the peace.  I don't know.  I do know that at some moments I am so at peace and others I am so crazy.  They seem so peaceful and are handling this wait so gracefully that when I get to where they are, I can only hope that I handle it as well.

Going to a talk tonight on Surviving the Teen Years While Keeping Your Sanity at BC High. I will have tons of food for thought. Most importantly, I think she is approaching the issues with a sense of humor. I absolutely subscribe to that. I am sure I will feel compelled to write on that.

So have I mentioned (this week) that I love CBS?  I do.  This week , a couple things hit me.  How do I decide what impact people have in my life?  How often do they tell me what they know I want to hear?  Do I/we listen or take advice from a talk show host, a radio commentator, friends , "experts"?  Not bad, just notice who influences us.  Why do I turn to God for the crisis or big decisions but ask for no guidance with the small ones?  hmmmm  This week I am going to write down all the small or big decisions (should we move to a bigger house? should we change our referral? what do I need to do about a friend who just does not "get" disrupting the balance and adopting? -to-  how should I decorate the sun room?  what should I make for dinner?-just to name a few)  Instead of going to the usual source of advice, I am going to prayerfully ask for answers.  ("You may be surprised at how faithfully He answers when you get into the habit of asking Him for advice."- from the Community Bible Study workbook)  I also realized how much I miss my mother who died a little over five years ago.  She was amazing at helping me to reflect without telling me what I wanted to hear or what she wanted me to do.  Oh well.  

4 comments:

Kristi J said...

What a great post..and so great to hear...I pray constantly for "safetly" for my children but forget the little things I could also be lifting up in prayer...great reminder. How did you lose your mother already?? so sorry to hear that...that must be difficult, kristi

Lori said...

This was another great post Jen, you certainly get me thinking and wanting to be a better student of God and the world around me... I get so caught up in my own little bubble...

I'm sorry that you've had the loss of your mother so recently, it sounds like she was a huge inspiration in many lives.

If it's of any consolation (it never was for me during the wait) just today at lunch I teared up and said to MP that the wait (year and a half total) has evaporated and I wouldn't have wished it have been a second shorter... To say "in His timing" is an understatement, really. I couldn't imagine not having the blessing and gift of our Tessa - you WILL realize this too when it's over. Until then, we're here for you to vent and hope you do because it helps!! xo

Katy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss of your mom. I imagine that five years ago must seem like yesterday sometimes.

sparkz said...

Thanks for the link!!! You're SO sweet! I love it! I'm praying for you too! Good things are bound to come soon!

I was thinking the other day and its amazing how much I long to see my child and be w/him or her. Then I got to thinking and thought how much more should we strive to be with God and Jesus in heaven? Anyway random thought that I have been meaning to blog on my page (and expand of course) but it kind of hit me. All the work, sweat, tears we pour into adoption-> how much more should we do that for our Heavenly Father?