Five and a half years ago, she was walking my youngest brother across the street to his First Holy Communion. She was struck by a car in the cross walk. She was able to push Chris. I don't think that he even had a bruise. She died soon after the impact. I never met the man who hit her. The six of her children have dealt with the loss in different ways. I have felt that God has given me the gift of forgiveness. I did not want to be angry at the man who hit her or God. To this day, while I miss her, I have never been angry about the details of the day. I am so thankful that we had had our daily talk earlier in the morning.
That brings me to the missing part. My mother was an incredible cook and baker. As the wife of a diplomat, she had made an art of it. So, every holiday that involves food....I sometimes forget that she is not here and go to call her for a question on some recipe. Or, I start crying when I making one of her pies. By the time the pies are made, the turkey stuffed, I have worked it out and am back to being thankful for having had her for 35 years. It has made me more empathetic when my friends lose loved ones.
So to the adoption part. I wonder, too, if the experience may give me a grain of understanding as what the newest member of our family may experience around his/her birthday or other milestones. Will he or she struggle with missing someone or somewhere, or doing something like making pies? Will he/she even be able to articulate the feeling? Will he/she be too young to register much?