Friday, November 14, 2008

One

Week one complete.  I am a person who likes to check things off the list.  I have been thinking a lot about the process of waiting.  I have friends who are in different stages of the waiting... waiting for court, waiting for referral, waiting for CIS approval, waiting for an appointment, waiting for travel.  I remember when the kids were small that I was always looking forward to the next phase, walking or speaking or whatever the next developmental stage was.  What is it about us that makes us resist the moment, or day that we have been given?  Why can we sometimes be at peace with the moment and then at other times we are but a small sail boat in a vast ocean taken over by a hurricane.  I can identify two days in particular that the winds of the hurricane knocked me off kilter.  I was crazy.  Both of those times were connected directly to my expectations.  Jason has a saying, "expectations are the root of resentment."  Both of those days, paperwork was late, with no explanation.  I had paced myself to wait until those dates, and then when the date changed... I was unprepared.  I am going to count these weeks that go by because I am a list person, but I am going to try and not expect the referral.  

The other part of the equation that his hit me squarely in the heart is that while we wait with joy and excitement, a world away there is a story playing out that is filled with sadness and tragedy.  How do you honor that and wish away the time?  How I have chosen to honor it, is to be more present to my children, to prepare them for their new sibling, to connect and learn from the people who are that many steps ahead of me or behind me in the adoption process and to pray for the birth family.

So all in all, a great week has gone by.  Soccer is quieting down (although, Andrew has Nationals in Tampa next week).  School is picking up.  


9 comments:

emily said...

Waiting is just hard, but I have found that it gives the Lord such opportunity to speak to us if we quiet ourselves enough to listen! Great post, you will wait with grace, I'm sure. (not that it won't make you nutty some days!!!!)

Lori said...

Waiting will have you ALL OVER THE PLACE... at peace sometimes and crazy the next. It really is a roller coaster. But we're here for you to vent and rejoice! On good days and bad, the blog world stands united! :)

That quote gave me goosebumps about expectations and resentment! How true! Wow! I can think of sooo many examples in my life where that has been the case! I'm going to pirate that quote!!

Adoption Cubed said...

It is such a fine line between feeling good about marking dates off the calendar and counting the dates until an expected timeline. It is soooo difficult but oddly enough helped my sanity. It still does....

There are so many emotions flying around with not enough nails to pin them down. I hear you.

I AM glad that you have your first week of wait checked off. I am thinking about you guys.
Rebecca

Lori S said...

It was good to read your thoughts on waiting and enjoying the day we are given. I think alot about that, too. But, I still want more than ever to fly to Ethiopia and bring my girls home forever. God knows when the timing will be best for all of us!

Kristi J said...

You are so right...waiting is so hard but I can't imagine the family that is giving up their baby....how hard that must be for them...thanks for the reminder...the time has flown by so far..hope it will for you too, kristi

Adoption Cubed said...

I was thinking about you this morning...
Rebecca

sparkz said...

Great quote. I am a list person also and have the need to count :). Thanks for the post to our blog! I appreciate it. Its nice to see the weeks go by, isn't it! Well at least for me I know we are a little closer w/each day even if are past our expectations ;)... I think I need to write that quote down!

sparkz said...

Thanks for your post! ;) I think I post where we are for my own sake- it helps the time somehow :)! I appreciate you keeping up w/me!

sparkz said...

I love your new thought! I hope that IS why. We'll be happy either way but I think that would be GREAT! :)