That's NOT Fair!

I have been in a Spring cleaning mode!  Getting rid, simplifying.  Yesterday Bella found an old picture frame filled with pictures of our family, that I had put in a box (okay, you are asking why...because I hate the pictures inside the frame...oops, pure vanity).  She was in none of them.  Did I mention Zach was probably 4y in them.  Our discussion went something like this:
Bella: "Where am I?"
Jason:  "Oh, Honey, you were not born yet."
Bella:  "But why am I not in the family picture? Everyone is there but me."
Me:  "You were not even born yet."
Bella:  "That's NOT fair."  And at this point the script would read...She stomps off, arms crossed, with the angriest face she can muster up...until gets into the other room, and the arms uncross, and a smile takes over the little scowl.  She grabs a baby doll and skips off.

You go girl!  I love this little pumpkin and all the "spunk and circumstance" that comes with her.

Chocolate Milk and Moving Forward

Spring has always been a busy time for me.  Tryouts for lacrosse.  Eliza just found out that she is captain of JV.  Zach found out he made the "A" team for lacrosse.  Soccer picks up, too.  Zach plays on 3 teams-town, club which Jason coaches, and ODP.  So I start to fret how and when and of course, why. So when I found this in a book that I am reading, it was a good reminder for me to not fall into the pattern of just getting it done.  Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanne Weaner, the book I am reading, quotes another author


Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to enclose a note inside...Obligation sends the children to bed on time, but love tucks the covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs (even to teenagers!)...Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it.  Obligation can pour a glass of milk, but quite often, love adds a little chocolate. Love adds a Little Chocolate by Linda Anderson

It was a good reminder to slow down and do the small things that make a big impact on the little souls around me.  Yes, the kids had chocolate milk all week long:) Bella's new thing is wanting to go to kindergarten.  She has a new friend who is in kindergarten.  She also wants to lose a tooth.  Sorry, babe, you just got your three year molars in.  But who knows, if you keep trying to shake those front teeth....

Sent in our application to CHI and have been approved.  Feels good to be moving forward again.  On a positive note, I love our case manager at CHI.  Not only is she an adoptive mom and "gets it," she responds so quickly to any and every question that I have had.  Scary that I actually asked a "how long" question the first day.  Will I never learn???  Actually the question had to do with how long it takes them to review our homestudy.  So we move forward.

Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

I have not known how to even say this. I kept hoping and praying that we would not have to do this. We are so sad about it. When I told a friend that I felt like I was breaking up with a boyfriend, she said..."yes, but they are dating over 300 other girls." Yes, we have decided not to use Gladney. And truth be told, we are heartbroken about it. They are an amazing agency. We know how well they care for the children. We know how ethical they are. We love Scott Brown and what a faith filled man he is. We also knew that there were children in our parameters waiting for a family. So we struggled and decided that we would not use Gladney for our second adoption. If I were 16, you would find me in my bedroom, surrounded by my 4 closest friends, a box of tissue, 5 spoons, and Haagan Daas ice cream. But I am not 16, am I?

What to say?

It seems that I still have a lot to learn about patience and perseverance.  This week has been bad news after bad news on the adoption front.  I prayerfully hang onto hope that we will be able to add to our family a brother or sister who will share a common heritage with Bella.

So I just deleted the rest of my post.  Maybe over a cup of coffee we can solve the problems of the world.  At this point I carefully edit my thoughts as not to get myself into trouble.

Ground Hog Day and a bit of Valentines Day

No not a weather related post.  Ground Hog Day-the movie.  We did our 4th bank letter today.  Yes, you read that correctly. 4.  The people in the bank are lovely.  I become more and more convinced that these obstacles are to weed out the weak.  Now I pray for movement and referrals.

                                                                          

before

after

Meanwhile, I painted the half bath.  Chalkboard paint.  Love it!  We have Valentine sayings on the wall.  Right now we have love needs no map, it can find its way blindfolded and love is friendship that has caught fire on the walls.  When I was doing it, Bella walked in and said, "Dad is going to freak out!"    (Where she got freak out, I don't know but it is so cute coming out of the mouth of an almost 4 year old.)   "But do you like it, Bella?"   "Yeah, I love it, but Dad is going to freak out."  So I call Jason to make sure he gives her a big freak out when he gets home.  When he walked in and saw it and gave her a good fuss, she was so tickled pink and kept saying, "Mom did it all by herself."  So she was talking about the fact that I could paint a room all by my self, had nothing to do with the color.  hmmmm  I tackle the family room next.

That did not last.

While I was writing it I wondered if I would regret writing the post below about how patient I was going to be waiting for Teddy Bear.  That resolve to be patient lasted all of one day!  Stupid stupid stupid-me (Yes, Bella, stupid is a yucky word.)  Everything I can do is done.  But I cant's get Gladney approval (read-get on wait list) until I have CIS approval.  I can't get CIS approval until I have a written homestudy with criminal clearances.  SOooooo my homestudy is waiting on FBI clearances, which will be coming next week for Jason and Andrew.  But me....they are having difficulty reading my fingerprints!!!!  So I may have to redo mine and the "nice" (read-not very) told me it could take 12 weeks for that.  Am I really being tested this early in the process?  At this point I am feeling like I will be in assisted living by the time this babe gets home!

So ready for Spring!

We have gotten so much snow this winter.  Zach has even been out of school because of roof issues tha thte snow caused.  So what have we been up to???  A girl could go crazy.  Or....

While we were adopting the first go around...I became obsessed with blogs on adoption, the Gladney FBI list, and the gladney yahoo group.  Anything that would bring news.  Even if the news was not particularly good.  There was nothing worse when everything was quiet.  I would live vicariously through the other referrals.  Don't laugh but I had even broken the FBI down into statistical charts.  Crazy.  I know.

Don't quote me on this in a few months, but this time I am going to attempt to put what I learned into practice.  I learned....patience.  Really, I have.  I refuse to I find that I am again stalking blogs.  Waiting for news.  I have told myself...STOP!  It is the biggest waste of my time.  Time that I should/could be doing something so much more productive.  We have finished everything we can do.  Homestudy is done.  Now we wait for our wonderful SW to write it, Gladney to edit it.  Then we submit it to CIS.  Now, I have made some unbelievable friends from all that blog stalking.  So, don't get me wrong.  I will look at other blogs, I will watch and pray and worry.  But I am going to limit myself.  I am going to nurture my mind, body, and spirit in other ways, too.  So this is what I am doing now that we are done with all the paper gathering:

Gratuitous picture just because

1. yoga every morning to help myself get back to a less creaky self because as we add the younger children, I am more and more aware of how old I am!

2. journaling to help tell teddy bear what we were doing before teddy bear got here.

3. finished Bella's adoption book.  Need to work on the older kids' books.

4. nesting in a big and fun way....  so I share some of the blogs that I have subscribed to.  Here are some pretty creative women who have inspired me.  Have fun:)


http://jonesdesigncompany.com/

http://www.hollymathisinteriors.com/

http://www.mysparrowblog.com/

http://pure-and-lovely.com/

http://www.perfectlyimperfectblog.com/

http://mysweetsavannah.blogspot.com/

http://thenester.com/