July Happenings

Fourth of July.  A first.  Fireworks, road race, parade, and barbecues.  Our town even paints the center stripe red, white, and blue.  Bella has star beads in her hair.  Its all about the accessories:)

Bella takes everything in stride.  She loves her daddy.

Potty trained.  We are now potty trained.  Just a month shy of 3 1/2 y.  It took us a few weeks but she really wanted to be... finally got the hang of it.  

Sleep.  She still takes a nap (2-3hours).  She has a hard time going down at night, though.  I read a book.  Cuddle.  Rock.  And then she wants to hold my hand...the problem is the routine can take an hour.  I have found something that helps. Don't think I am cray...it's survival.  She loves Eliza's I-touch.  She plays with that for 5 minutes and then is out like a light.  (Still comes into our bed in the middle of the night.)  So much for my "no-technology rule" in the bedrooms.  Ugh.  This girl is genius in figuring out any technology, too.  

Friend.  She has several of her own friends now.  She craves interaction with them, too. She went blueberry picking, too.  She was so excited to see where blueberries come from.   I can't wait to take her to the Vineyard this year.  Fishing.  Swimming.  Jumping from the dock.  So many firsts:)  

I look back a year ago...and we were waiting.  Emailing, texting, or calling Emily and Michelle kept me sane.  What a blessing my new friends are.  A year later they are still so dear to me.  Almost a year and it feels like she has been home a lifetime.

June

We are in the lazy hazy days of summer.  The kids are done with school.  The schedule is light.  The days have no set pattern. I have started running.  I ran 3 1/2 miles the other day.  I have not run this far or this long since college.  I feel really good and fit.  It really has helped with my energy level with Bella.  I also ordered and am watching The African Experience from The Teaching Company.  (36 lectures by a Professor at NC State).  I love it.  I was not sure what to expect, but I have been nothing but pleased.
We have been going to the library almost every other day.  It is Bella's favorite place, even if it is just a quick trip.  We do story time on a farm, under a big tree

followed by visiting the animals or picnic lunches at a small beach in our town.

I think Bella is still growing like a weed.  I keep expecting her to slow down a little.  Can she really keep growing an inch a month?  She is as funny as ever.  Telling Zach..."you are driving my crazy" or me..."you are annoying me" when she does not get her way.  I signed her up for ballet in the fall.  She was so thankful and happy...it almost hurt my heart.  Weeks later, she is still thanking me "for signing (her) up for ballerina."  We made a few new friends, one of which is moving to CA.

Andrew went to another prom.  We also had his graduation party.  He is now getting ready for college.  He is working a ton.  He is also still playing soccer.  I take him to High Point for early registration in a few weeks.  It will be the first time I leave Bella over night.  Jason will have her but I am still a little worried for her.

When I grow up, I want to be like Eliza.  She ordered a few things on-line for herself, the boys, and Bella...who is the mom here?  She noticed that they have free bridal wrap.  She had her and Bella's items wrapped, saying"Imagine how excited she will be to open the box."  She had the card read... "To help you fight the dragons," referring to Bella's slaying of the imaginary dragons the day earlier in the park.  Bella was so excited to unwrap her little sneakers.  I have so much to learn from this girl.

Zach graduated from elementary school.

So, life is good.  Blessed.  (Next time, I may write about thoughts/worries about raising a beautiful African girl in a town that is predominantly white or the stirrings to adopt again...just need to start writing it down...but for now another light post.)

Big and Little Happenings

Big happenings:

My oldest has graduated from high school.

Little happenings:

Sweet.

Bad Blogger...life at warp speed continued * edited

Life with a three year old is so much fun.  We live so much more simple.  We make a house for the flower fairies and wood elves.  We made a chandelier out of sea glass and a table out of rocks.  Bella loves imaginary play.  The older kids are loving this stage.  It is over so quickly, and this go around I am enjoying every moment...bc I know how fast it goes.

Andrew graduates next week.  I will miss him terribly.  The college process is really stressful on them.  He was so torn between schools and rankings and what they had to offer. In the end he decided to go to High Point University in NC.  They offered him a leadership and academic scholarship and they have a division 1 soccer program.  He has won three awards/ scholarships this spring.  The one of which I am most proud is the one given by his school for character on and off the field, striving for excellence in athletics and academics.  One that young boys would think is cool...Major League Baseball gave him one for his work in Boston with volunteers of America.  He got to meet Jason Varitek.  He also had his prom.  What a great time in his life this is.  Stressful but exciting, too.

Eliza had her spring fling for the freshman at her school.  She is also playing lacrosse.  The reason Bella is wearing the same outfit is because they were the same night...no, not in the same town either.  Now, you are getting the "warp speed" bit.

  

Zach is good.  Well, at this very moment he has the stomach bug...but in general.  He is good:)

Now for Bella, so much to tell.  She is doing great.  We are having a ball with her.  She just had her 3y check up.  She has grown 7 1/2 inches, and 2 lbs. She has grown 3 shoe sizes.  I have to give Gladney credit.  They started her on this path...we just get to see the amazing results.  With our first mother's day behind us...I have been thinking so much of her ET mother.  What to call her?  She loved her baby girl.  She nursed her baby girl.  I am sure she had dreams for her, as well.  What were they?  She was so much more than a birth mom.  We have started call her by her name.  Don't think that I am crazy but...recently, Bella had surgery.  Nothing big...just a biopsy on a mass.  Sounds scarier than it should.  While I was snuggling with Bella coming out of surgery...I was thinking and praying for her mother in heaven.  There is no part of my heart that Bella has not colored.  We are completely synchronized.  I feel like I have a friend in Arfosa.  As she watches her daughter grow, I think she would be happy...not the way it was meant to be, but at peace.  I think that she would know how much she is loved and cherished.  Bella wants to be a doctor or a soccer player (go figure).  She just got small lacrosse sticks.  She loves American Idol.  Her eating is great...loves hummus, yogurt, and M&Ms.  She loves going on errands with Andrew.  She will miss him terribly next year.   She loves Ruth and Aster and another set of ET twins Aster and Milkie.  She loves to be read to.  She loves to be rocked.

Okay, so I am going to try and be better about blogging.  I am also loving my morning ritual. My new goal is to do yoga every day for a year.  I am the three month mark.  It feels great.  I feel less rickety and less old:)  

* so this is why I don't blog much...as I wrote this post little Miss B got into the sorry game, the monopoly game, connect 4...all pieces are on the floor in the family room...I guess they needed to be organized.  That is what I will be doing for the next hour.  Oh dear.

Easter

Easter with Bella.  She had a ball looking for eggs.  She can't believe they make bunnies that are made of chocolate.  This is a little girl who loves chocolate and Pez.  The day was filled with all types of goodies...from candy, to a beautiful mass, to peaceful family walk following a filling dinner/late lunch.  Jason then took the three older kids to opening day, Sox v Yankees.  Bella and I stayed home....this is where creativity comes in.

We watch old movies and decorated our journals.  I have been writing, painting, gluing, doodling, etc in mine every day as part of my morning ritual.  I have gotten Bella her own little journal and toolkit.  Her toolkit is filled with the same things mine is filled with but in the kid version.... paints, scissors, crayons, pens, etc.  She pulls it out and does whatever moves her.  I use mine to write  poetry, thoughts, hopes, quotes, scripture... It has been a lesson in awakening.  I wrote my first poem since high school the other day.  Now, I know this may be hard to believe... but I did not graduate a year ago... or even five years ago.  I use to love writing... and I just got away from it.  I want Bella to love writing, drawing, painting, or whatever speaks to her little creative self.  Here are our journals and an example of the pages inside... just a thought that may help shake the winter blahs away making room for spring...

Morning Ritual is Back

Something no one told me about adoption that took me a little by surprise was the fog that I entered after bringing Bella home.  It is not too dissimilar from the one I entered when I brought my older three newborns home.  Life was so crazy before Bella came home, from the preparation of paperwork, appts with social workers and doctors, preparation of Bella's room, packing, gathering of humanitarian aid, and preparation for a new member.  Then she is suddenly there (although, it did not feel so sudden.)  Life comes to a stand still in some ways and then picks up speed in others.  One of the things that fell to the wayside is a concrete morning ritual.  I don't think that I exercised or really read a book for 5 months.  For two weeks I have been reestablishing my morning ritual.  I can feel my mind and body reawakening.  Even though I am waking up 45 minutes earlier than I was...I feel more directed, rested, alive, nurtured, patient, and grounded.  Just putting it out there for whoever may be tired and feel like there is just enough time in the day...

This is what my routine looks like:
5:45 get out of bed to do a yoga routine, followed by my coffee in a special mug (see above-enjoying it on so many levels), bible study/daily devotional/prayer, and journal writing.  I usually have time to get  a sandwich or two prepared for lunch and even share a few words over a cup of coffee with  Andrew before he is out the door.  By the time Bella is up, I am ready to be fully present for her.  Okay, maybe not fully present...but I am working on that :)  On the weekends, my peaceful time alone is actually lnger because the teens are in bed until later.

Six months/3y old

Bella woke up to her room filled with balloons on her birthday. She loved the princess balloon the most. The following pics were from a picnic dinner at the harbor. She loved throwing rocks in the water and playing soccer and lacrosse with the older kids.

I can't believe it has been 6m. Bella turned 3 about a week ago, too. Truly, it is as if she has been with us forever...mostly (I'll get to that in a moment.) We had our 6m post placement visit, too. Our SW is shocked and amazed at how well she is doing...in language, in development, in attachment, and in confidence. All good news. A Bella story: When asked what time she goes to bed...Bella answered before I could. "After, American Idol." Oh well, I asked the SW can you lie and say 8? :)

Now keeping it real...there are small reminders that if fact she did not come to us without some wounds. When I leave her with Jason or the kids...she still asks me..."but you are my mommy, right?" It is as if she is making sure we aren't going to have a shift change. Then last night, I left her with Jason. they were having a ball running errands and just hanging around. Out of the blue, (so out of the blue that Jason thought she was kidding at first) she gets up in her chair at the table and puts her head down and starts to wail for me. Tears running down her face asking Jason get me. She has never done this before. Did she think I wasn't coming home? I don't know but she is def processing something. While she has been sleeping the whole night in her bed...the past several nights she has been coming in with us. It serves as a good reminder to me that while she is doing so well...there is an unknown. There is a hurt that will need to heal. She will come to trust that we are going nowhere. That in fact we are her mommy and daddy. How will we know that she knows. I don't know. Maybe she will stop asking before one of us is leaving her. Maybe we will just know. Or maybe not. i do know that when I start to get impatient with her because she is taking so long to get in her car seat, or my back is killing me because 30lbs is alot to carry...I think back to a year ago when we knew her but had never held her. What I would have given to have an aching back, then! What I would have given to be waiting for her to climb in her seat instead of on a court date! So, I am enjoying the waiting and the aching, now. I trust she won't want me to carry her when she is 100lbs:)

Six months home. She is doing much better than I imagined. She is doing better than the SW could have imagined. I have to give credit where it is due. I truly believe that she is doing as well as she is for a few reasons. 1. pure blessing 2. who she is 3. what she experienced at Gladney (there almost exactly one year) and 4. what she experienced with her ET family.