Zen

The foolish mans seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet. - James Oppenheim

We are not officially on the wait list but it is getting close, very close.  When I saw this quote by Oppenheim, it struck a chord. 

Adoption, I have discovered is about waiting.  Different periods of waiting.  Waiting for an appointment.  Waiting for CIS.  Waiting for the wait list.  Waiting for the referral.  Waiting for the court date.  Waiting for travel.  Waiting.  I remember waiting when I was pregnant, but I had an end date.  You have a boundaries that are concrete.  The first trimester is a defined period.  The second, too.  And even the third.  None of the waiting periods in adoption are set by a number of days.  There is such a pull to think about the future.  To plan for the future.  To dream about the family we are to become.  Is it at the expense of the family we are today?  I have been working hard to not let tomorrow be the thief of today.  It is so hard.  I am making a concerted effort to enjoy the calm in the house.  Being able to watch the soccer matches without interruption.  The relative ease that 3 children are.  The time I have with Jason.  The routines that we have established.  The discussions at the dinner table that are almost adult-like.

I know that life will be chaotic and exhausting for a while (maybe a long while) after we have our new child/ren.  Yet, we wait with excitement.

a fall favorite

Zachary loves banana bread.  This might be his favorite recipe.  Whenever we buy bananas, we usually have a few that we don't eat before they brown.  Those, I freeze so I have a constant supply of over-ripened bananas for this recipe.

Banana Bread

1 1/2 c. flour 

1 c. sugar

1/2 tsp. baking soda  

1 stick butter (1/2 c.) melted or softened

1 tsp. vanilla  

1/4 c. orange juice

1 egg  

2-3 ripe bananas

Mix by hand.  Pour into a greased loaf pan.  Bake at 350 for one hour or until inserted knife comes out clean.

I pray that God does not grow impatient with ME!

God must look at me and just shake His head.  Why is He just not done with me, I wonder.  When will I learn?  To quote a fellow blogger...I am a slow learner.  Really, I am.

Just as I finished the post below.... I got the email from Gladney saying.... all set. No problem, a few revisions will be made and then they will go out to KSB, CIS, CIA, and KGB.  Just kidding on the last two.  

I will learn patience.  Eventually.  Won't I?  

I will sleep better tonight.

Now for a bit of inspiration go to this blog.  She is also the one that said she was a slow learner.  I think not.

 

Impatience

Okay, so Gladney has had my home study for review since last Monday.  They did say it would take up to 10 business days to review.  Okay, that would mean tomorrow.  Not any word, though.  It is killing me.  I am waiting to be on the "wait list."  I am going to be horrible when we are waiting for a referral.  I am going to be even worse when we are waiting to go pick up that sweet child/ren.  Have I mentioned that I am impatient?  Have I mentioned that I hate waiting?  I was okay until this afternoon.  Then it all fell apart.  (I feel like I am back in 2nd grade.  What if I/we don' get picked?  What if they don't think we are good enough?  Why haven't we heard?)  For all of you who waited with grace...I need a lesson, quickly.  Gosh, I really have not even made it on the wait list and I am not doing this with much grace:)  

Wisdom and a discerning heart

This will be a somewhat scattered blog.

We went to our first Ethiopian celebration on Saturday.  We went to Enkutatash in Boston.  One of the families we were hoping to see, could not make it but we ran into other families that we knew and another PAP that I have become friendly with.  It was great to experience the food and a part of the culture.  The Ethiopian people who were there were so gracious and welcoming.  The are a beautiful people, and I do not mean simply in the physical sense.  We felt honored to be accepted into the group.  The kids tried Ethiopian food for the first time.  Initially, they were expecting it to be really spicy and they actually found it pretty mild.  Seeing the young children there, made us yearn for our child/ren.  Soon.  Patience.  Check out the stars of the party.  Eliza and her friend Justine think they are wonderful.  I have to agree.  Also, very rarely do you see a mom so comfortable in her role.  She is amazing, too.

In the Bible Study class that I am taking we are studying 1 Kings and 2 Kings.  I love history.  King Solomon is the first king that we are studying.  He apparently was a great king.  There is a strong connection between Queen of Sheba and King Solomon (I love this connection to Ethiopia).  The only thing King Solomon asked God for was a "discerning heart" with which to rule his people.  So I look up discerning...to show good judgement.  Have you heard of the story in the bible about the two mothers fighting over the baby, each demanding that the baby was theirs.  I had, but did not know the names of the characters.  King Solomon was the king that said that he would cut the baby in half so that the mothers could share the baby.  The true mother replied that the other mother was the correct mother to save the infant.  King Solomon then knew who the true mother was.  (Please forgive the paraphrasing.)  

Given where we are in our life, this study has given me so much guidance.  I, too have asked for a discerning heart so that we can make a sound decision on the age, gender, medical issues, number of children, etc that we will be adopting.  I want to do what is right for the family that I have and the family that we are to become.  I also love the story of the two mothers.  In adoption, there are two mothers.  It is a reminder of the awesome responsibility we will have to our new child and the mother that is left with her arms empty.  I will need to be mindful of how we honor her, and keep her dreams for this child ever present.

Blogging experience.  One of the families that walked into the event on Saturday looked so familiar. I could not place them.  Why did I know them?  It took me a moment and then...I realized that I had been following their blog.  She was lovely. It is fun to meet in person, though.  Check her blog out.

JUG

Jug stands for Justice Under God at a Jesuit high school.  It means detention.  Andrew has gotten one since he has been at BC High - for not making his friends clean up after themselves.  yes, we are responsible for our friends.  As a mother, I say thank you BC high.  His future wife will also say thank you.

So today, as I was picking up to leave the house, I find this note.  I read the note quickly without noticing who the teacher is.  I am thinking/said ..."he got a detention (panic because he has a Varsity soccer game) for wearing his Nantucket reds?"  Jason laughed and said "Read who gave it to him."  I love the teacher who gave it to him.  Then I realized he was getting grief.  It was a joke.  Andrew has a few pairs of pants that he wears (a pair of orange, the "pink" or Nantucket reds, some plaid....) that are dress code but that he gets a rise from the faculty.  The boys love them because they are different.  No one can say Andrew is not confident.  Actually, he wears them well and they are nice pants.

I needed to laugh about Andrew.  He is driving Jason and me crazy!  Actually his cell phone is.  We have a rule that he needs to leave the cell phone downstairs to charge it after a certain time.  Yes, he does need a phone.  He calls us to let us know when he gets on the train, how he is getting home, etc.... Well, he has been sneaking it upstairs to talk to his girlfriend.  Long story short it has become a battle.  Silly, I know.  My solution is:  when you disregard the rule.  I get your phone and you get mine.  I am sure L and R (his gfriend and best friend) will enjoy catching up with me.  I have not had to follow through with that but I hate the battle.  Oh well.  Teenagers.

Learning patience

I am not even on the wait list yet and I am learning how to wait.  Do we ever get good at it?  Gladney has our home study.  It takes 10  business days to review it.  Meanwhile, we keep imagining who or how many we are missing from our dinner table.  Reading the blogs of the families who have recently brought home their babies has been a tylenol for the waiting headache.  I am normally a type A personality that has more than enough to do... now put that on Red Bull.  I signed up for my Anatomy and Physiology class and lab.  I signed up for a bible study (had my first class and love it).  I am working at Williams-Sonoma.  Sit on the steering committee for a fund raising for my junior's school.  Trying to fit in yoga, time with my friends, cleaning the house, and cooking.  By the way, I get all this done while the kids are at school because I am a stay at home mom.  Do you see a pattern?  It is a form of nesting for me.  Get everything done before our sweet pea gets to us.  Most of those items have an end date.  An end date that will be before we will travel.  So meanwhile, I get my comfort from seeing other families made and competed.  

This weekend we are going to the Ethiopian New Years Celebration close to Boston.  We are bringing two of our kids (Andrew has a game in Maine), one of their friends, and a good friend of mine.  We will see new friends there.

Love does not make the world go around; Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. 

-Franklin Jones

Homestudy!

The hard copy came today so that we could proofread it.  YEAH!  We need to look it over to catch any errors (Zach's age, my sister's age, etc).  I can't believe that we are closing in on the end of paperwork.  I have one more document to send KSB other than the homestudy.  The homestudy will be sent to CIS, Gladney, and KSB (for the dossier). 

I remember when we first started the paperwork (June) how overwhelming it was.  I did not think that it could possibly be finished in a year let alone three months.  there is alot of hurry up and wait.  I see the finish line!

As of today, all the kids are in school.  The two younger ones started Tuesday and Andrew starts today.  He made Varsity for soccer so he has been scrimmaging/practicing for long hours. Zach and Eliza seem to have had a good week.  No complaints.  On Wednesday I had a neighborhood coffee for all the moms of elementary school kids.  It was nice to reconnect with them after the summer.  I had my first day of Anatomy and Physiology.  It was somewhat dry but, the prof was really nice.  Yesterday, Jason had Lasix surgery on his eyes.  Today he woke up not needing contacts or glasses!  big changes in the Morgan house.

Now on the adoption front...I feel like it is a comedy of errors.  On Tuesday we heard from KSB that 9 of our documents needed to be redone.  Apparently there was an issue with the language the notary used.  I guess that MA changed their language.  So, I scramble and get them off my To Do list. (I hate having things on the To Do list.)  I get them notarized and send them FedEx.  Now, why I am so anxious to get them back...I do not know.  We are still waiting for the hard copy of our home study, so nothing can really go anywhere.  I got an email last night hat all 9 documents have to be redone.  The notary's commission expires in 2/2009.  I almost burst into tears.  So I will run around today, get them finished and get them FedEx'ed.  Hopefully, then everything will be correct and then, we will have to simply wait for the home study.  I can hardly believe that there will be a  point that we will get to hold a new being after all this paperwork is done.