Final Exam

I am one class down and a few more to go.  

When I was in college (College of William and Mary in Virginia) my parents made the mistake of suggesting that I go to medical school.  I, therefore, majored in International Relations and minored in Art History and learned a very valuable parenting lesson.  Could there be anything further away from medicine?  So almost 20 years later, I am going back to nursing school.  I want to teach and go on missions.  I want to work in the NICU.  

So, that brings me to today.  I just finished my Nutrition class.  I loved it and I got an A (yeah!!!!).  Next up, Anatomy and Physiology I.  I am a little nervous about the timing of the baby and the class, but if I have to withdraw, it will be for a great reason!!!  I'll take a bit off and then finish the prerequisites at night when Jason will be home.  Everything that I learned is applicable to our lives now.  There also was a section on malnutrition.  I might need that in the next few weeks.

The kids are so excited that I am back in school.  It is a new side to mom.  It is also a vauable distraction for the time being.

Impatience

But these thing I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day." Habakkuk 2:3

I am so impatient. I always have been. Now is no exception. I fill out a piece of the paperwork and I have to wait for something that may be taking longer. I found the above quote and it resonated. I have to remind myself that my child/children will not be ready until the perfect day. I am trying to be diligent and finish the paperwork but not be impatient. I can almost feel the soft curly hair in my hands. I can almost hear the reassuring sleeping breathe of a baby. God knows best. I hand it over. What is to be will be. All at the correct moment. How selfish of me to want it yesterday. Somewhere a mother is going to be separated from her baby. Why wish that time away. I will get a lifetime with this sweet child. It will come soon enough. In the meantime I feed the need to hold our child by seeing other families get their referrals, court date, and bundle of joy. One day it will be our turn.

So please keep blogging. It is wonderful to follow the adventures in a hectic happy life....

Paperwork....

Working on the I600A.  Disposition came today.  We can move forward with the I600A.  The disposition says that J has no criminal record.  Let this be a lesson to those fraternity boys who think that a fraternity prank is not a big deal.  A marriage and three kids later, it is more than an annoyance. 

We are also moving on finding an agency to do our home study. I am waiting for all my DVDs to come in the mail for our Hague Training.  Everything is moving.  Sometimes it feels really slow but at other times it gains in momentum.  The kids are starting to get really excited.  It is seeming more real to them.

J and the boys are going to New Jersey early tomorrow for a college showcase tournament for Rew.  Yes, soccer.  Rew is playing for a new team.  Z is he best fan.  He can not get enough soccer.  Eliza and I will hold the fort down.  She has Justine coming tomorrow for a sleep-over and a special girls night out.

Reflection

Do you ever feel like God is trying to tell you something and you must be missing the message.  That is how I am feeling.  We had Samantha's funeral yesterday.  It was beautiful and sad.  I don't think you are ever prepared to say good bye to a beautiful 20 year old who did nothing but be born with CF.  The funeral was on her grandmother's birthday. hmmmm  

Then I went into work (part time fun job at Williams-Sonoma) only to discover that a friend at work who's sons go to the same school in Boston as mine is in the hospital with renal failure.  She has not been sick.  She is 46.  I prayed for her all night and before I got out of bed this morning.  I pray that her four children will not be left motherless.  hmmmm

I also pray for the birth mother of our next child (God willing).  I pray that she knows that we will love and care for her baby as the treasure that he/she is.  I pray that God gives her peace and comfort in these days that will have such an impact on her and her child's life.  hmmmm

So what am I missing?  At the moment, I am acutely aware of people suffering.  At the moment, I pray.  The juxtaposition of life and death is not lost on me.  Is there a deeper message?

Drifting

I am distracted.  Besides the adoption process, we have too much going on.  Samantha's wake, today and funeral, tomorrow, Andrew's (not 100%) has practice, tonight, and tournament, this weekend, Zach has camp, Eliza has piano, my class presentation, tomorrow (yes-more on that later).  In all this storm, I need to find some grounding.  I have always wanted to read the Bible and am hoping that can give me a little grounding.  So, I have started today.  Todays scripture was Job 12:13.  God is all powerful.  He creates.  An interesting juxtaposition when we are going through grieving for sweet Samantha.  She was created for a purpose.  I don't want to lose that purpose.

This is what the Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and take care of them. Ezekiel 34:11

Samantha did not make it.  She has struggled and fought for 20 years.  Now she can rest.  She was such an amazing and upbeat young lady.  My heart hurts for her family.  

On the adoption front I am finally feeling like I am making head and tails of the paperwork.  It is seeming a little less overwhelming.  We are waiting for some documents to come in the mail and then I will be able to send out many of the packets that are ready to go.

The excitement is building in the house.  I am trying to temper myself and the rest of the family.  While we are going to preference a baby girl, I feel like we have a little boy in Ethiopia also.  I watched a special on 60 minutes about malnutrition and a possible product that has really been a God send.  I can't seem to satisfy my need for information from Ethiopia.

Summer!!!

Wow!  Summer is officially here.  Andrew's soccer team lost in the finals at State Cup so they are the #2 team in Massachusetts.  He has been sick since Thursday night.  High fever and sleeping.  Zach is at a soccer tournament today with Jason.  Eliza has not come home from a sleep over.  All is quiet.  We met last night with the social worker.  I am trying to be patient and enjoy the process.  It is a different type of pregnancy but there are definitely similarities.  Pregnancy is a time of discovery.  The questions that the social worker asked where great.  Some were hard to answer but most we had already been asked.  The why's?  I will try and articulate those another day.  Today I want to ask for prayers and tell of the power of prayer.

Yesterday at 10:00 am one of our best friends asked for prayers for his niece, Samantha.  She has CF and has been really sick.  She has been in the hospital for 6 or more months and has been so close to death so many times.  So, at 10 we prayed along with countless others.  They got a call that they had a lung to transplant, yesterday!!!!  As I write, she is in surgery with 20 doctors.  She is by no means over the hump, but it is hope.  If anyone can make it, she can.  She is a fighter, surrounded by a loving and wonderful family.  So please pray for her.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my children's father.  He is a great dad to them.  He is a great life partner to me.  We met in college.  I am so thankful that he is adventurous.  He is definitely the fun parent.   He has a great heart, sense of humor, and a strong conviction of right and wrong.  Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit.  (Zech 4:6)  He use gentle persuasion to affect change.  He is not one to use force.  He uses patience, persistence, and does not get riled easily.

Today, he will be driving two and a half hours so that our oldest can play in the state finals for soccer.  

What we learn from our children....

"A" was one of our foster newborns.  She adores Eliza.  She came to us at a day and stayed until she was 6 months.  She is back with her mom and doing well.  We are blessed to see her.  She came over last night with her mom.  She has taught me to enjoy "today".  We never knew how long she would stay.  I enjoyed each day without a thought to the future.  I had a good lesson on selfessness, too.  I had to mentor her mom so that I was sending her to a place she felt comfortable and safe, when if fact, I really wanted to keep her to ourselves.  Her mom and I have forged a unique friendship.

Now, a little about Eliza.  She is 13.  She has been looking into adopting from Africa for 2 years.  In school, someone did a talk that included how many orphans there were in Africa.  At the time we were interim foster parents.  We knew nothing about the possibility or the process.  Through her initial actions, it was printed on our hearts.  She is a sweet, gentle, goofy, headstrong, and compassionate.  She loves to ride.  She loves the underdog and the underprivileged.  I always said that all those things that challenge me in parenting her I will love when she is thirty.  I have come to love them in her at 13.

What is your uncommon call to an uncommon life?

This is what a year and a haircut will do.  Andrew and Jasper last year and then this year.  I loved the message that Max Lucado had on his newsletter today.  We have "and uncommon call to an uncommon life."  He gives a lot of scripture, as well.  1 Corinthians 12-7 is one that I will think on today.  It says: Each person is given something to do that reveals God.  As a parent we have a responsibility to help or to guide our children to discover that something.  Not to tell them what it is.  With a 16 year old in the house that is forever on the forefront of our and his mind.  Grades, college, soccer.  He is a great kid.  Kind, funny, humble, athletic, and social.  There in lies the problem.  This child is is not putting much into his academics.  He does okay.  After our initial frustration with his mediocre grades, I receive the newsletter from Max Lucado.  The scripture says each person - not each person's parents- is given some gift to reveal God.  I must help him only in the guidance.  He must work to discover what that gift is, not me.  Truly, as soon as I figured that out, I could concentrate on what I need to be doing to reveal Him, myself.  That "uncommon life" is what we are trying to achieve. 

As we move forward on the adoption journey I go from being scared of the crazy to being excited about it.  We are waiting for the application to come, recommendations for the agency to do our home study, and sending information off for preparation of our dossier.  parallel tracks that, God willing, will meet in Ethiopia.

Moving Forward

 One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it-Sidney Howard.

Had our phone orientation with Gladney.  We are moving forward.  We could not be more excited.

Zach made the Galway team for club soccer.  Andrew has a call back for the Revolutions.  A soccer-filled week.  By next week the kids will be out of school.  Will the schedule slow down?  Probably not but it will be sun and fun-filled.

Jumping

So we are jumping.  We filed the very initial paperwork for adopting from Ethiopia.  We have a phone orientation tomorrow.  Afterwards, we will file a formal request for the application.  We are excited and scared.  Some of our friends think that we are crazy.  We are.  I am not going to wait and let misfortune create crazy; I am choosing my crazy.  This is a great crazy.  There are times, it seems that God throws a cosmic switch that moves the tracks beneath us, hurling our lives headlong in a new and uncertain direction.  Of these times just two things are certain:  It's best we don't know what's ahead and we can never go back.-Richard Evans, The Sunflower